.
.
I wear the old necklace
a gift from my son
.
he tells me
to stop saying
if only and should’ve
.
he bought it
with his pizza money
.
it was nobody’s fault
he says.
I want to believe
.
his heart was young
and vital then
.
he would’ve hated
the hospital with all
those tubes and machines
.
whenever I wore it
he was proud and happy
.
the coroner said
it was probably quick
which was a blessing
.
like a pewter seagull
soaring.
.
.
© 2017 Betty Hayes Albright
.
Seasonings 
this made me all teary eyed, which lately is just way too easy to do ❤ beautiful gift from the heart and loved ❤ sweating out the Irma thing here…..never been so scared in my life, not even with cancer….sigh.
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Kim, thank you! I’ve been thinking of you and wondering what you decided to do about maybe evacuating. Hope you’re in a safe place. (I don’t remember what city you’re in.) Just take care! Thoughts and prayers are with you and everyone in Florida. 💕💕💕
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We are 20 minutes below Sarasota, west coast. Hunkering down with all the neighbors….watching each other, stocked up but if have to move in for storm surge, ready for that too. Keep praying, we are….thank you my friend, it’s nice to know there’s a soul out there checking in😊 I’m sure there are many more, no offense…just very worn and tired and really, it has t even really begun….😊💜🙏🏻🕉☮
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Worrying about you. Still sending prayers…. Love and protective hugs to you. 🙏
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Watching and waiting, hatches battened down….send prayers…..sigh.
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Still keeping you in my thoughts, Kim… weather channel is on constantly and I worry and wish I could transport you out of there somehow! 🌸💕💕💕
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💜💕☮🕉🙏🏻😊keeping positive and ready as we can be💜😊 thanks Betty.
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Still thinking of you! Take care, Kim. 🕉️☮️🛐💕
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Very poignant and moving
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Thank you for reading it, Kim. 💕
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Powerful expression.
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Thank you, Wyco!
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Betty, this moved me deeply also, I have been there with two young sons who died 5 years apart! Your poem is beautiful and not only do I feel your spirit in every word, but i feel the love he shared with you and how important he will always be. I wrote a poem ‘Butterflies’ for my two as their spirits are always with me. Thank you for sharing this gem, and know you will always be in my prayers. Hugs and blessings always!
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Wendell, I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your two sons. It has been hard enough losing one and I can’t imagine losing my remaining son.) We’re not alone – I know at least three other bloggers who have also lost sons. It doesn’t matter how old they are, it still leaves a permanent hole in our hearts.
Would like to read your poem “Butterflies” – is it on your blog?
I’ll hold you in my thoughts and prayers also. 💙
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I found your “Butterflies” poem – poignant and beautiful!
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Poignant. No way to fill that space in. (K)
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You’re right – thank you, Kerfe. 💕
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Beautiful and very sad. Hugs.
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Thanks for the hugs, Val. 💙
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Betty, I think he is very near you. Love is stronger than death.
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Thank you, Bob – I do feel his presence often, and his reassurances. And you’re right, love is indeed stronger than physical death.
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Love helps us endure the storms that life brings to us…peace be with you.
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Thank you, my friend. 🥀💕
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This beloved baby still is clinging to your neck.
He brings you memories fresh as water from the beck
You protect him still and ease his furrowed brow
As when a babe, he is still around your neck, with you now 💜💜
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Lovely comment, Willow. Thank you – I’m wearing that necklace a lot more these days. He was a generous child, teenager and adult and I’m lucky to have many such memories of him around me. 💕
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Yes indeed 💜💝
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Betty, when my wife read this she wiped her eyes and simply said, “yes.” You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.
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And you are both in mine, Steven. Thank you. 🥀🙏
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Gods, Betty – I do not know how you survived it. Some say we are not given more than we can handle. But these days, I’m ruminating wickedly on love and life. How is it we open fully, only to be faced with these kinds of smackdowns? Some call it karma, okay, I can roll with that – for awhile. Some say character building to which I say there must be another way. Some days I am given further insights. Other days I am just left in staggering wonder. And so on we go, do we not? And we join hearts and hands in our common understanding of suffering and the heart’s capacity to love. Again and again. Sending you heartfelt love on this blessed day. ❤
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Bela, thanks for your heartfelt thoughts. I know loss is part of life and we all experience it at some point (various points, actually). It does help to write about it, and also to hold the perspective from a cosmic point of view. Personal experiences have convinced me that this life we know is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Of course it’s easy for me to wax philosophical, but grief is still very real when we lose someone. Maybe it’s wishful thinking but I do still feel Arlie’s presence and “hear” him. It’s what keeps me going right now, at least. And I agree with you – “and so on we go…” Sending love back to you, dear Bela. 💕
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Yes on the cosmic. Yes on the presence. Can confirm/affirm both. But grief – it really does me in when it comes. It’s hard to resurface, at least for me. So kudos to you Betty, waxing philosophical is so much preferable to the alternatives many seek out. And it’s no cop-out. Aloha, dear.
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Glad we think alike. Yes, the grief hits over and over. I think maybe after three months it should subside a bit but it hits hard again and again. New waves…. So… I wear his pendant and listen to his wind chime and have conversations with him. He had my wacky sense of humor so sometimes I laugh. And then my heart literally hurts. And then through my tears I see prisms and smile again. And something grows deeper in my soul. Hard to explain but I know you know what I mean. 💙💕
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Beautiful poem Betty and so much love for someone taken too soon. But our children make their own choices if we give them that freedom and certainly I feel you did and though gone he lives within your heart and the heart of the seagull flying. Take care.
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Thank you, Renee, I appreciate that. Of course this wasn’t a choice (he had undiagnosed heart problems) but maybe in the greater scheme of things he came into this world knowing it would be cut short at 44. Ironically he was trying very hard to live a healthy lifestyle, eating right, exercising, etc. But he was handed some bad genes that got the better of him it seems. I do miss him terribly – he was kind, sensitive, loving, and had the heart and soul of an artist and musician.
Thank you again, Renee. 💕
P.S. hope you’ve been enjoying the cooler weather. No rain here but I hear they had some to the north.
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I am sorry if I offended. I wasn’t quite meaning choices in the way it sounded and I am glad that he did the best he could given his heart condition. I guess I think of my own son, who is your son’s age, and wonder why he has not made better choices given his own heart condition but I suppose I could give him benefit of the doubt as he only found out about it within the last five years or so. Then again, he is certainly not like your son in that he has always lived life on the edge of things and seems to be happy in doing it. Nathan has congestive heart failure as, per the doctors, he was born with a heart that does not function as it should but even had he known I am sure his choices would be as they have been. Nathan has a good heart and is a wonderful artist and it only saddens me that his life could not have been more and more than likely will not be. But I should not be going on about him. I really did not mean to offend. I know you miss him terribly. A bit cooler today but still very muggy. Take care.
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No worries, Renee, I wasn’t offended. 🌹 And my poem was a little ambiguous so I thought it a good idea to clarify. I’m very sorry to hear about your son’s congestive heart failure. Hopefully he’ll still have a good long life. Arlie didn’t always make the right choices either through the years, unfortunately. And I know he suffered from depression. Like all of us, we have lessons to learn… sometimes hard ones.
Interesting that your son is also an artist. As we know, it seems creative people suffer the most with this and that. Or maybe it just seems that way because we tend to hear about them more.
You take care also, and I hope you’re having some good days. 💕
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Oh Betty, such a beautiful and poignant poem! It brought tears to my eyes. Sons are precious. Much love and hugs to you, blessings. xo
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Lana, thank you for your kind words – I appreciate the love, hugs and blessings and send the same back to you. 🌸🥀
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You are very welcome, Betty. xoxo
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I am certainly puzzled tonight. You made a comment on a post I recently did and I went to reply and your comment seems to have vanished. I am not sure what I did but I am tired so in any case…Thank you and I am glad you liked it. 🙂
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Renee, I was having trouble posting it (using my phone app) and thought it might’ve posted twice. Funny that now it disappeared. Something weird going on! Get some rest – I’m tired too. 😊 Have been watching weather channel too much. So worried about Florida. Hope you have a good night, my friend. Take care. 🌸💕
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This is a touching piece. I like the two poems in one idea. I wonder if you meant one to look like a pendant hanging on the other…
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To be honest, that didn’t even occur to me. Wish it had. YOU are more perceptive about my poetry than I am! Thank you for that. 🙂
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Beautiful and sad.
Hi Betty,
I found my way here through our mutual friend’s blog “The Feathered Sleep”
As you probably know she is not doing so well. I’m attempting to help our dear friend Candice during her time of need. When you get the chance please follow this link https://www.facebook.com/donate/1885961145056058/1886080781710761/
and help her out if able. Candice would never ask anything for herself, as everyone that knows her knows she is a very giving, caring person. That is why I’m doing this on her behalf. Thank you.
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Thank you, I’ll do so. Will be glad to help. Have been so concerned… Feel free to stay in touch with me here.
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such a beautifully
bittersweet piece!
may it continue
being worn
joyfully in the heart.
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Thank you very much for your comforting comment. 🌸
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I really like this poem. It reminds me of how much I abhor pedantry and all who get obsessed with minor details while missing the bigger picture of what really makes me happy.
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Thank you for visiting my blog, Philip, and for following. I took a look at your blog and resonate with the esoteric topics.
Your interpretation of my poem is interesting. (A little background – it was an experiment of combining two poems – about my son who died three months ago and the pendant necklace he gave me long ago. I’m glad that you liked it and appreciate your comment!)
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Ooh, am so sorry that you lost your beloved son. To write poetry like this you must have great inner strength, which is boundless in its resplendence. May you keep shining like the twinkling star.
Thanks for your considerateness.
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Philip, you are most kind, thank you very much!
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Betty, I don’t know that I’d have the strength to write such a loving poem under the circumstances. It takes so much to remember the goodness of a person when you are aching for their loss. I know your son is always with you in your heart. I know it’s not what you really want.
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Thank you again, Sharon, for your compassion. It has been really hard as you can imagine, and writing the poems has been therapeutic. He is indeed still with me in my heart.
Much gratitude to you for your thoughtful comments.
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He will always be soaring. Remember whenever your own heart seems grounded. He will call to you to drop those dumbbell words, those if onlys and should’ve and beckon him to come flying with him. Remember.
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Thank you, Ben, I shall remember. One day a time. Your words are greatly appreciated.
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Sent with love and hugs.
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And the same to you, Ben. Thinking of you both. 💙
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I wish I could say things were going well. Thank you so much.
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I haven’t wanted to ask, but sensed as much. Reaching out across the miles with empathy.
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Day follows day; some up, some down. Today – as I write – a better one as it happens.
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Glad it’s been a better day today, Ben. Wishing you more of the same. Though I know it’s one day at a time there too.
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Learnt yesterday that there has been some shrinking but there are still clots.
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Shrinking is good. Hope the clots dissolve…. My thoughts are with you both. 🌻🌻
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thank you. We watch and wait. Sorry but I’ve got a little behind recently. We have had two sets of visitors.
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I understand – have been having trouble keeping up here myself!
The watching and waiting must be a roller coaster, plus the exhaustion. I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through. Hope the visitors were a pleasant distraction!
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One set anyway. the other not quite so much.
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That would be a strain, then – the other. Hope it was a short visit.
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Foreshortened on the third day but without bad feeling. Just a little too much to manage.
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Beautiful reflection 💚💕
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Thanks very much, Karen. 🥀💕
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My son Peak gave me a silver Haida eagle for Christmas and I wear it when I need to feel strong.
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It’s interesting how such things can empower us, and also give comfort.
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Dear Betty, after reading ‘Pendant’ once with admiration, then a second and third time with deepening emotion, I put Beethoven on, his Violin Concerto in D. His beautiful, transcendent music, with Yehudi Menuhin playing, seemed just right. I’d like to think Arlie would have understood why.
Take care,
Paul
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Paul, thank you for such a kind and thoughtful comment. Somewhere in my Beethoven collection is the violin concerto you suggested. I shall search for it and play it, and think of Arlie. And of you for mentioning it.
You take care also,
Betty
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Betty, this is exquisite. I am speechless. Just…beautiful. So filled with love.
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Thank you so much, I truly appreciate your kind words.
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I say again, the love you have will never be extinguished. I’d long for my mom to love me a quarter of your beautiful heart. I know he feels it.
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Thank you again, Candice. I do feel his presence. But it continues to be an ever present ache, missing him.
Sending you love – wish it could be retroactive and I could go back and fill your childhood with all you missed. 💓💕💖
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I wish you’d never lost him. But he does hear you. It doesn’t make it any less unfair. I love you my friend.
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Thank you, that’s comforting. I love you too, dear friend.
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